LIST
by Bloodyx3Massacre
Summary: When ORB, the EA, and ZAFT decide to have a time of peace through the act of a ball, what will happen when people get drunk and play a game of LIST? What happens between drunk soldiers from other sides? What are the Haros planning? Pairings? Who knows...
1. Step One: Invitation

Disclaimer: I own the plot bunny named Bob and the condition of what my mind is in. I do not own the characters from which they come from and I do not own their souls… Ignore that last part. If you do not like OC-ness of regular characters from the show, leave. Drinking, cussing, and laughter are highly expected. Have fun and please keep hands inside the moving warship at all times.

I dedicate this to my special little beta reader Kaze, dear you are going to have to put up with me for a lot longer than you thought.

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Kira rose from a long, unpleasant, non-sleeping night to the 'oh so bright and cheerful' sunlight streaming into the small bunk on the Archangel. He stretched, tripped over some of his dirty clothes, found a bottle of pop, hunted down some clean clothes, and made his way to the bathroom. There, he washed up and suited out in his black strapped outfit for the long day to come.

He walked down the hall remembering why he hated Mondays with a passion. The long boring hours of torture after having a blast of a weekend, the struggling of trying to hide your hangover from your superiors who are just as screwed as you with their hangovers, and the ungodly amount of work. Yes, Kira Yamato had a hate list and on that list was Monday.

As he entered the bridge the cheerful sunlight from hell was brighter than ever and more than three of the bridge crew had sunglasses on. There sat the Captain, hair mussed and a look to wither a plant on, trying her hardest to not scream out with rage for not having the windows of the Archangel limo tinted. She was smart enough to write many reminders on sticky notes and place them along the arm of her seat the day before so she would not forget any important appointments.

"Morning Captain." Kira stated calmly. He acted as if he had something in his eyes so he could hide them from the sunlight.

"I hate mornings…" Captain Ramius growled bitterly.

"We all do, Captain." He smiled beyond his control this morning.

Kira looked down to find that a sticky note had landed right between his feet. He slowly and carefully to not make the world start to spin, bent over to pick the thing up. When he stood up he read it slowly as if to digest it easily. After that he read it again… Then with a startled, 'Oh shit!' he leapt to Neumann to get him to head the Archangel to Orb and then to ZAFT. "We have that International Military Ball we were told to go to. We are needed to escort Orb ships safely to and from the ball tonight."

"Do we have too?" Murrue uncharacteristically whined. "They're big boys and girls; they can do it on their own."

"Free alcohol…"

"Head this ship to Orb immediately! Full acceleration! Get there as fast as we can!" Murrue order with pride and happiness of the new found treat.

(Few hours later… more like seven hours later)

"You will have three hours to leave the ship and head into the PLANT to do whatever you want, but then you must return to receive your ID badges and instructions. We are guests so look formal and behave yourselves." Murrue coughed slightly to the smirk that slowly crept on her face. "We'll have a success party onboard the Archangel afterwards…" The crew cheered in an agreement. "You may now go socialize with the rest of Orb, the EA, and ZAFT." She turned and headed off to meet with the Council of Orb and Cagalli. Kira and Lacus walked with Andrew to the Council to discuss the major set up of the ball and how the introductions will occur. Kira had finally agreed to reveal himself as the pilot of the Freedom and was regretting every moment of it.

In minutes of ZAFT being let off their ships, Lacus was swarmed with Haros of all colors. "It seems Athrun has been busy once more." She smiled sweetly.

Kira was glaring at the balls of doom, swearing to himself to kill or torture Athrun until he promises never to make another Haro for the rest of his life. Which ever he was in the mood for: Quick and silent or a grand show.

He followed along side the Council to the main ZAFT ship our beloved Minerva where the Chairman had been stationed for protection. He hated the stares he was getting from the Council and the random crew members they had passed who wasn't used to him. He had gotten used to the gasps and almost fatal heart attacks they used to have from finding out that he was the Freedom pilot, but he still felt uncomfortable. As they approached the Chairman, he could see Athrun and the other red coats behind him. He gave a swift smile to Athrun and returned the poker face he had on previously. Athrun replied in the same way.

"Welcome to the PLANTs. It is a pleasure to have us all together here in a moment of peace during this hard war." The Chairman spoke smoothly. He got many agreements for the long needed peace and relaxation from the Orb Council. Kira had to wonder how the Chairman could act so calm in front of so many people he considered an enemy, then he mentally howled with laughter of the thought of the Chairman taking happy pills. Athrun must have seen the small twitch of Kira's lips because he raised one eyebrow and looked puzzled. Kira gave an 'I'll explain later look' but unfortunately was also seen by Luna who was standing by Athrun. She looked up to Athrun in confusion and he whispered that he would tell her later.

"Council of Orb, we have hotel rooms for you to relax in. These men here will guide you to them. If I may have a word with the Captain and the highest ranking officers of the Archangel privately, please." He stated with a small tilt of his head. Kira still couldn't believe how long the Chairman's hair is.

After a few moments, only the few Archangel crew members who escorted Captain Ramius and Lacus stood with the two ladies and Kira. Kira, the only one who did not wear an Orb uniform at the time, got many stares from the curious ZAFT forces. He mentally kicked himself for dressing like he did because he was sure that ZAFT thought he was the captain. Captain Ramius stood forth and the front of the group with Andrew and Neumann behind her. Kira took his place besides the captain and Lacus stood a few feet behind Andrew, still getting questioning stares from the ZAFT forces.

"I was told that we have a special appearance of the Freedom pilot tonight. I just wanted to meet him or her before the ball tonight, if that's alright." The Chairman acted uncertain, but knew he would meet the pilot no matter what. He took a few steps forward, his hair waved slightly by the movement.

Kira sighed heavily and took a few steps forward. "I am the pilot, sir." He looked up into the piercing yellow eyes of the Chairman once more with his poker face on. Many gasps came from the small amount of ZAFT soldiers still watching. Luna looked Kira up and down while Shinn glared and was praying that he could just run up and kill him. "My name is Kira Yamato." The Chairman seemed to be surprised at that and quickly regained his composure.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Yamato." The Chairman bowed slightly and Kira returned the greeting.

"You may just call me Kira, sir. Mr. Yamato makes me sound so old." The Chairman laughed and Kira gave a small smile, as did Athrun.

"I know what you mean, especially with the whole Chairman title. You may call me Gilbert. So how old are you?" The Chairman walked closer.

"I am only 18." Kira replied honestly.

Gilbert smiled friendly and stuck out his hand to Kira. "Pleasure to meet you, Kira."

"Pleasures all mine, Gilbert." Kira returned the hand shake and smiled back.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know where this is going so bare with me. Pairings, just because I'm now finish with heavy medication, I might do some wild things. XD

Pride


	2. Step Two: Monster Vehicle

Heh heh! I'm loving this story so I might make it longer if I get more reviews. Otherwise I'll end it pretty quick. More reviews also mean longer updates quicker. Beta reader: kamakaze, you're still stuck with me!

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A young ZAFT green coat ran up to the Chairman with a piece of formal paper in which he quickly recited a small message into the Chairman's ear and handed the small paper to him carefully. The Chairman quickly scanned over it, folded the paper, and nodded quickly to the green uniformed man giving his reply swiftly. The man saluted to the Chairman and quickly ran off to where ever he came from in the first place.

Dullindal returned his glance to Kira and smiled. "It seems a councilman wishes to see me at the moment." He rolled his eyes, smile still in place. "Apparently my secretary doesn't know how to send reminders or to keep a decent schedule." He huffed slightly to prove his level of stress from the unneeded addition. "I bid my adieu and plan on talking later, Kira." He bowed slightly, Kira returning the polite gesture.

The Chairman then turned to the red coats next. "You all have the rest of the evening off. I would also like you all to show our guests around the PLANT and the base. Good day, ladies and gentlemen." He gave them a salute and then walked off.

Kira watched the Chairman leave for a few moments until he felt his hair get ruffled. "Athrun!" He whined undignified. He looked up with a glare at the green eyes looking down into his. He swatted at the hand that now retreated quickly and heard laughter at the two boy's antics.

Miriallia looked at the two boys teasingly. "You two still haven't grown up, have you!"

"Nope and why should I?" Athrun spoke up first with a large smirk and his chest puffed out proudly.

"Because you're eighteen and almost a grown adult." Kira replied with his arms crossed across his chest and a teasing gaze set firm on his younger friend. "Good thing I'm the older one of us." He smiled brightly.

Miriallia smirked. "You're one to talk, Kira. You still have a party attitude and you whine."

"I'm hurt, Miri." Kira pretended emotional hurt at his friend's comment, his hand over his heart and a sad pair of eyes glanced at the young woman. "Maybe I shouldn't go shopping with you…" Kira said slyly.

"You promised!" Miriallia's eyes went wide with surprise. "Besides no one else will go with me and I don't want to go alone. Everyone else took off to go do their own things." She pointed over to where the Archangel Bridge crew had been standing.

"I told you I would go with you." Kira smiled to her. He looked over to where the other had been. "Wow they took off fast…" Kira muttered to himself.

Athrun got nudged in the side softly. He turned around to end up facing Luna with a curious glance at Kira and Miri. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Athrun?"

Athrun rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Sorry about that. Kira, Miri, this is Luna," He pointed down to the young girl besides him, then to the tall blond male behind her, "That's Rey," and then to the raven haired male besides Rey, "And that's Shinn. They're all under my command."

Miri smiled and gave a hello and shook Luna's hand. "It's really good to meet you." Luna gave a smile in return.

"So these are the, as I quote from you, Athrun, 'the pains in the ass'." Kira said playfully with a whine from Athrun, who didn't want the others to know what he had called them in his many letters to Kira.

"You called us what!?" Luna was fuming. "How dare you insult me!" Rey and Shinn looked confused at Luna. Weren't they insulted too?

Miri put a hand on Luna's shoulder. "Don't mind men, they're always egotistic jerks." That made Luna smile widely and giggle. It looked as if Luna just made a new best friend.

"Hey!" Kira was taken back from that comment. Rey and Shinn looked hurt as well.

Today was just not their day with women.

"Would you like to come shopping with us, Luna?" Miri was happy to finally have someone to keep her company that wasn't a male with an ego complexity.

Luna, who was just as excited to have a new friend, nodded quickly. "Can I bring my sister?"

"Of course, but we should get changed out of our uniforms before we leave." Miri was then pulled after Luna towards the Minerva to retrieve her sister Meyrin and to rid her and Miri of their uniforms for some more properly dressed civilian's clothes.

"Miri does this mean-" Kira started but got interrupted by Miri.

"You still have to go, Kira Yamato!" She yelled back before she was completely gone from sight, her glare still hanging in the air.

Kira huffed and slouched slightly. "Well, I'll go get the vehicle then."

Athrun smirked at his friend and patted Kira's back. "Sucks to be you buddy."

Luna popped her head back around the corner. "Shinn, Rey, Athrun, you all are coming too! So get a move on it!"

Kira smirked at the stunned faces of the other men. "You were saying there 'buddy'?"

"And what if we don't want to go!" Shinn yelled back defiant, crimson eyes ablaze.

"Shinn Asuka!" Luna's voice rose.

"I'm going. I'm going." Shinn pouted in defeat. He sighed and looked to Rey. "Well, we better go changed."

Athrun went back to the ship grudgingly with Shinn and Rey in tow. Kira trotted off towards the Archangel.

(15 minutes and some whining and dealing later)

"I shouldn't even be in a radius of one mile of the stupid Freedom pilot." Shinn continued his mumbled rant. "It's not fair. I should be trying to get revenge not going out and playing goody-goody with him by shopping!" Shinn's dignity, or what's left, was trying to get him out of this or give him a reason to tell his superiors why he had killed the Freedom pilot with a clothes hanger in a clothes store.

Rey, who had been equally pissed off for having to go with the bunch of 'trained monkeys', as he liked to refer to them, must not only put up with them but also the Freedom pilot, kept his mouth shut but silently prayed that the temporary peace treaty be called off and that an all out killing spree would occur. He almost squealed with joy at the thought, but decided against it.

Miriallia had heard everything that Shinn was saying under his breath. She started to wonder if she should tell Kira not to come and to hide himself in a closet on board the Archangel… "You must be the pilot of the Impulse, Shinn."

Shinn was startled from his ranting at the sudden question, more like comment. He didn't know what to say to the older lady standing in front of him. "Y-yes." He managed to stutter out. He liked the feeling this lady gave when around, kind of like a homey or comforting feeling. He couldn't believe that such a friendly person was aboard the most mighty and powerful ship in the universe. He had heard all the rumors of the Archangel crew being a ship of space pirates or convicted serial killers, but this lady standing in front of him was neither.

"You hold a lot of hate towards Kira. Maybe you should get to know him outside the battlefield before you think you know him completely." She smiled slightly at the young boy's attitude. She then turned back to Luna and Meyrin as they came out in their civilian's clothes. "Let's go."

They walked out of the ship and let Miriallia take the lead towards the Archangel. Many of the mechanics (I love the grease monkeys!! XD) were still aboard the Archangel's hanger finishing up on random repairs or just plain screwing around, like gamboling and drinking while their superiors weren't watching. When they heard the newcomers coming into the hanger they quickly hid the beer bottles and cards while throwing a white sheets stained with oil over the tables with the bets.

Miriallia raised her hand in the air as a peace signal. "It's alright boys. No commanding officer here. Get back to business."

The mechanics sighed with relief and began to play their games again with the sheets strewn to the floor. Howling with laughter from some crude comments about an EA captain they had seen earlier that day that was apparently new, they looked over the ZAFT pilots quickly while waiting for their turn to bet.

"Are they always like this?" Luna asked first, seeming confused at the illegal activities going on board the ship. 'They could get in so much trouble if they're caught,' she thought.

"Don't worry. They never get caught. And yes they are always like this. I must admit they are a bit rowdy at times, but they're also very loveable for a close family during a war let alone two wars. We know everything about everyone on board this ship and we will stand up for our own." Miriallia spoke proudly of the people around her to the guests.

"That must be wonderful." Shinn surprisingly spoke up first.

"It is most of the time until they can blackmail you." Kira spoke from behind Shinn causing the crimson eyed boy to jump and quickly spins to face him.

"Trying to give me a heart attack!?" The younger boy looked up to Kira growling.

Kira looked down amused. "Not yet." He looked over to the others. "Ready?" With a nod from Miriallia he pulled the keys out of is pocket and pointed to a large truck behind him. "Let's go."

This truck had wheels as tall as Mwu, the grill was heavily protected by a steel grid bars, the main body of the vehicle was a reinforced roll-cage, bullet proof windshield, a 6.6-liter Duramax Diesel V-8 engine (which generates 210 horsepower and 545 lbs.-ft. of torque), a fuel cell APU that is a 5-kilowatt proton exchange membrane regenerative fuel cell system (it is capable of producing electricity and hydrogen in remote areas), Raytheon First Responder command and control equipment, infrared night vision camera and GM's "extreme mobility package" to meet harsh off-road conditions and payload requirements, and a diesel-electric hybrid powertrain that can operate as a self-contained generator, with the capability of providing up to 30kw "exportable" DC and AC electricity for troop operations in the field.

Summary: It was one hell of a beefed up military vehicle that could dish out and take a can of whoop ass.

"Holy shit…" Shinn stared in disbelief with Luna besides him.

Rey and Meryin were too shocked to see how tall the truck was to say anything.

"Can I drive?" Athrun muttered. He was love at first sight with the truck.

"Nope. It's my truck so I get to drive, Athrun." Kira smirked and stood up straight to show how proud he was of his tank-on-wheels.

"I call shotgun!" Shinn smiled childishly.

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Wow, its longer... Thanks to Kiheada.Ray.T. and choclatbandit. I love you both. Onwards with the story!!!  



	3. Step Three: Get Superiors Together

I was asked about the Captain's and Commander's of the ships and what they were doing so here they are enjoying themselves. My beta is being slow so I might be looking for a new one. She's busy shooting the local kids for me. So you can apply for that job. I'm also looking to see who are all my stalkers. Heh heh. So revew me for that to or PM me. I don't care, either one.

Oh special disclamier: I don't own the song 'Hide and Sekk' by 'Imogen Heap'. Really good song I demand you all to go listen to it while reading this chapter. It really brings out the emotion behind all of this. Seriously.

**Litsten to 'Hide and Seek' by Imogen Heap while reading!!!**

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Murrue sat in a large red sphere chair in a small, dim lighted pub in town. After releasing her men to cause havoc- I mean to act civilized during their short stay on the PLANT, she had changed her uniform to more comfortable civilian's clothes and went exploring. She had come about finding a small basement style pub on the outskirts of the town and decided to stop in and get something to drink.

She smirked to herself looking at the little garage band playing a song they named 'Hide and Seek'. They were impressive for being all a bunch on teenagers with overly depressed attitudes and with a bunch of eyeliner on, but she didn't care. The simple melody and rhythm was quite soothing. She remembered their band name as 'Imogen Heap'. Maybe she should go get their CD before leaving the PLANT…

The red chair was so soft that it was as if she was sinking into it. Her apple martini sat gracefully in her hand. The smell of candles floated softly in the air and the sounds of singing rung through the small pub. The bartender took a moment to watch the band play before returning to cleaning glasses and fixing drinks. The waitresses wore all black and delivered the ordered drinks to the customers. Everything was relaxing and calming.

Someone then suddenly sat besides her. The small figure obviously female and the short honey brown hair told her who the person was. "I wouldn't expect such a well respected captain to be in a place like this." The woman's voice was soft but held a certain edge to it, like that of a captain.

"I wouldn't expect you to be here either, Captain Gladys." Murrue quickly looked at the woman besides her and then back to the makeshift stage of cargo boxes.

"And yet here we are, in a moment of peace." Talia sighed.

"We've made it this far." Murrue said as the tune seemed to be a little depressing. The lyrics 'Where are we? What the hell is going on?' seemed to ring through her head.

"So Captain Ramius, I never knew you were one for pubs." Talia smiled slightly.

"You don't have to be so formal. Murrue is just fine." Murrue looked over to her. "A friend of mine used to take me to places like this when we had a chance in the first war. He always said it was calming to him like a home away from home." She smiled.

Talia returned the smile. "It's always good to have a place like that especially if you travel a lot like us." Her smile faded. "Where is he now?" She tilted her head curious.

"He died at the end of the last war saving the Archangel." Murrue's smile left to be replaced with a thin line.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Talia and Murrue went silent for awhile. Talia took a small sip from her 'Screwdriver'. "If you don't mind me asking, how did he go?"

"During the final battle of the first war, the Archangel was having a duel with the only other ship like it, the Dominion. They had hunted us down like the Vesalius around the universe. The captain was actually my second-in-command aboard the Archangel for the first half of the war. Lieutenant Natarle Badgiruel was taken off my ship right before Josh-A occurred.

Well, the Dominion was ordered to be evacuated but she stayed aboard to finish off Muruta Azrael. Azrael managed to fire the Lohengrin straight at the bridge of the Archangel. Commander Mwu la Fllaga maneuvered his mobile suit Strike in front of the beam and used his self as a final shield to protect us all." Murrue went quiet.

"I-I'm sorry for your lost." Talia was stunned. She wasn't expecting anything like that. Your friend killed to protect your life and the life of the crew. Would her men do the same for her? Would they sacrifice themselves willingly to save the crew?

"So why did you come here, Captain Gladys?" Murrue cheered up slightly; glad to be off the previous subject.

"Just Talia." She corrected automatically. "I don't actually know why I come here. I guess it's just peaceful compared to the war, something everybody longs for."

Murrue smiled. "I say we get out of here and get some lunch before one of these depressed little kids what to take us out and find out we're old enough to be their mothers." They shared a good laugh, getting rid of the gloomy condition that situated itself around them just a few moments ago.

"Agreed." Talia said between laughs and she quickly finished her drink as did Murrue. They paid for the drinks and left a tip for the waitress. Murrue stopped and left a twenty dollar bill on the stage for the band as the song ended and walked out with Talia.

(In a small coffee/tea shop)

Arthur was sipping his tea quietly in a corner with a newspaper in front of him. His right hand poised above the crossword in deep thought. He had completed about twenty of the fifty problems on his own, but was stuck on one that he couldn't get his mind to answer.

He was released a while ago by his captain and had wandered the town to here. He could tell the ladies behind the counter were trying to figure a way of asking him out and thought he was absolutely charming with his British accent, but he wasn't one to care too much about things along those lines as he promptly took his cup of tea and sat down at a table.

Andrew Waltfeld walked through the door of the bright and sun filled shop. The scent of coffee and aromas of tea hit his senses as if he ran into an invisible wall. He took a deep breath and sighed. He went to the counter and ordered a cup of mocha with whip cream and chocolate shavings. He took his delight and sat at a small table made for one or two people and pulled out a bottle and a newspaper from his jacket.

He laid the newspaper on the table reading the current events and opening the small tin flask. He took a swig from the flask and then dumped half of the mysterious liquid into the mocha (I think you know what it is…). He stuffed the now half empty flask into his jacket and flipped through the newspaper until he came upon the crossword puzzle. He whipped out his pen from his jacket and started to work on it.

Arthur by this time had gone through his third cup of tea with sugar and honey and was still stuck on the same problem. He had completed the entire puzzle and desperately tried to find something enjoyable before he had to complete the reports due to his captain in a few days…

Andrew had worked through twenty problems before he got stuck on one that just did not make sense. His mocha was now two-thirds empty and lukewarm. It had been an hour and a half since he entered the small shop, but he didn't realize how fast time flew.

Martin DaCosta had finally found his superior after thirty minutes of searching the town, first looking in the local yellow book to find all coffee shops in the area then having to track all of them down and look around inside. He entered the shop and walked directly to Andrew who appeared to be deep in thought. "Sir, you were supposed to report back to the Archangel an hour ago. Besides, you're the only high ranking officer still on duty."

That statement immediately caught Arthur's undivided attention, but he remained looking down at his newspaper too, his reports sat idle at his side.

Andrew let out a grunt of acknowledgement to Martin. "I need a seven letter word for 'Up, down, charming, blank…'" Andrew said under his breath.

"Strange, sir." DaCosta replied to the unaddressed question. "But, sir, the ship-."

"Well, I know the question is strange Martin, but thanks for the help anyway." Andrew replied.

"No sir, the answer-." DaCosta started but was cut off my Andrew.

"Let's head back to the ship now." He got up with the newspaper in hand and threw away the now empty coffee cup.

DaCosta sighed and followed obediently.

Arthur blinked in confusion at the sudden turn of events that just occurred and looked down to his newspaper after taking a glimpse of the two men leaving. He counted the spaces of empty blocks twice. Then he slapped his forehead in embarrassment. "I can't believe it." His strong British accent punctuating every word. "It is strange…."

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I just love Arthur's sexy British accent even though I have only heard it once. If you're a blond sexy speaking British or German guy PM me. /// Just kidding dears. Please humor me. But still, your accents are damn fine. Rawr!


	4. Step Four: Removable Truck Parts

I personally think this is my favorite chapter. It's longer than the others and by far more amusing than the others. I think I forgot to mention that the truck they're driving in does not have a roof or windows except for the front windsheild. If you can remember when Kira had scared Shinn and Shinn had asked Kira if he was trying to give Shinn a heart attack. Kira in turn replied with a simple 'Not yet.' Well, here is where Kira gives Shinn a heart attack...

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Shinn was mentally screaming at himself for ever yelling the normally harmless three little words: I call shotgun! His right hand was digging into the thick, tight leather of the truck door's arm rest, his knuckles a bright white. His left hand was holding the underneath part of his seat trying to give him some balance while the truck moved along the road. His bright crimson eyes were wide with, for once in his time in ZAFT, fear. His jaw clamped tightly and the intake of air into his lungs was short and shallow. His short hair whipped around his face. 

'_Good god! Now Shinn, here's a mental note for_ _you,'_ Said an overly sweet voice in his head. '_NEVER get in a vehicle with the PILOT OF THE FREEDOM as the damn DRIVER!'_ The voice wailed in a high pitched, terrified voice. It screamed for its life and well being. The voice screamed for the vehicle to slow or stop moving. _'Shinn, you're a stupid idiot for ever getting in this… this monster truck!!'_ The voice howled. Shinn told the little thing to shut the hell up and he had reminded himself to visit a shrink about the voice. Hearing voices was one thing, but when they insult you, it's a whole other ballpark.

Shinn had seen how the Freedom pilot maneuvered his mobile suit during combat but he never suspected him to maneuver his four-wheeled vehicle the same way. He thought ironically, _'There's even a stick shift and four-wheel drive in this thing.'_ He thanked god for the specially designed seat belts, which to him looked and felt more like mobile suit seat belts. He dared himself to look over to the speed gage. Slowly passing 115 mp/h now and they haven't even cleared the warship and mobile suit docking area. He felt himself gulp subconsciously from the fear he felt, a thin layer of cold sweat covered his skin.

Luna wanted to scream. She wanted to scream until her lungs burst. She wanted to scream so loud that everyone in the universe could hear, even people in space. Unfortunately for her, her voice was pushed down her throat and stayed there from the shear pressure on her body by the fast moving vehicle. She was beyond panicking. She was pushed tightly and securely into her seat once the vehicle started to move. When she first got in, she was surprised at the size of the truck's passenger seating, but she still had to duck from some of the roll cage bars overhead. She knew it was a command vehicle and was used for ground fighting, but she didn't think it was also used for deployment of troops.

She looked over to the older girl besides her and almost died from shook. Miriallia looked absolutely fine with the speed. She was actually smiling! Luna was about to faint at the sight but she turned her eyes towards her left to watching as a mixture of colors blended together as the speeding truck passed slower objects.

Rey was in the back seat that could fit three people with Meyrin, who was clinging to Athrun's arm, who sat besides her. Rey had to closes his eyes as he clung to the door and seat for dear life. His long blonde hair whipped around him. He could tell Meyrin was going to pass out if they didn't stop or slow soon. Hell, he thought that he would pass out soon too.

He took a quick glance around the truck at the passengers. Luna was in the same position as Meyrin and himself. He couldn't see Shinn from where he was located. He noted to himself that the girl he found out was named Miriallia was actually looking as if she was enjoying every second of the speeding trip. He looked over at Athrun, who looked better than the rest of them, but was still a deathly pale white. Rey glanced up at Kira, who was smiling and was relaxed. He was horrified to find that Kira was not only humming a tune to his self, but was also taking glances out to his left where a window would have been and also at Shinn. Whenever Kira would look over to Shinn, Rey thought he could see a small smirk tug at the corner of Kira's lips and he could feel the truck's speed increase a little faster than its normal small increments of speed.

His eyes widen with his conclusion, _'The pilot of the Freedom was driving like this to terrorize Shinn?!'_ He paled at the thought. This was not going to end well for someone…

Kira suddenly started to slow the vehicle. First by short amounts and then by bigger amounts until he hit the breaks with a stomp, giving all his passengers, except for Miriallia and himself, whiplash.

Shinn was delighted for whatever made the Freedom pilot slow down. He prayed to god that the thing that caused it became rich and famous in the near future. He looked over as Kira was handing the guard at the gate his military ID and showed the guard his dog tags.

Luna breathed a sigh of relief and found that her voice had returned. Miriallia gave her a side glance and smiled to her. She could hear Meyrin whimper from what they had just endured and Rey lost his normal cool mask as he let out a string of colorful language under his breath.

Shinn started to gasps for air as he realized that he had been holding his breath for awhile now. He loosened his grip slightly and relaxed into the seat with his eyes closed. He suddenly felt a hand on his head that rubbed comforting circles onto his scalp. After a few moments that was enough to catch his breath, he opened his eyes and looked over to where the hand came from to find that the hand belonged to Kira and that the older coordinator was looking at him with a large smile on his face but concern in his eyes.

"You aren't hyperventilating on me now, are you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Shinn looked startled at first and then his normal glare which said, _'I'll rip your voice chords right out of your throat with my bare hands,'_ came back. "I-I'm going t-to s-strangle you." Was all he could stutter out between pants of desperately needed air.

Kira chuckled and patted the top of Shinn's head. Then he turned and reached back to take his ID from the guard who had checked them out after Kira gave out all their names and what they were leaving the base for. Kira put his ID back in his wallet and then place the wallet back in his jacket pocket. He was about to gear the truck back up when he felt a hand on his arm.

Shinn was pissed. No, he was more than pissed off. First, the Freedom pilot drove like a maniac. Second, he treated Shinn like a child. Then he went and laughed at him after he gave the Freedom pilot his death glare that scared even the most cold, hard veterans! That was it. "Don't you dare do that again." He breathed out to Kira, his grasp on Kira's arm tightened.

Kira's eyes light up at the challenge, but he decided to pretend to be innocent. "Do what?" He hit the gas and headed over the final military boundary to the civilian territory. He kept the truck in a straight line and his eyes on Shinn.

Shinn immediately dug his fingers back into the same spots they had been in the past ten minutes. He could hear the muffled whimpers and cusses of the other passengers. His eyes looked between the road and back to Kira's eyes. His crimson orbs then panicked in fear as he realized that the older coordinator wasn't watching where he was driving. Shinn once again begun to hyperventilate for the second time in less than twenty minutes.

"Is something wrong?" Kira had the guts to play that innocent act. Shinn wanted to just murder him now.

"D-drivin-ng!" Shinn shouted.

"Oh, so you don't like my driving." Kira smirked. He kept the truck going faster and faster as they went and turned back to the steering wheel. He put his hand underneath it and flipped two switches and then placed both hands on the steering wheel.

Shinn could hear the switches being flipped and he closed his eyes thinking it would make the car go faster. He could hear Miriallia bust out laughing and Luna scream but it was muffled by the wind rushing past them and the roar of the engine.

"Put your hands out, Shinn." He heard Kira command.

Shinn kept his eyes closed but strangely enough did what he was told to do. He then felt something kind of heavy and metal in his hands, something circular. He heard Rey cuss and Meyrin call out that they're all going to die.

"If you don't like my driving then you can drive." He heard Kira whisper it into his ear. "Have fun."

Shinn whipped his eyes open to look down in his hands. There in his hands sat the steering wheel to the truck. Its metal parts shining brightly and the black leather had a shine to it. Shinn's heart was flat lining…

Shinn threw the steering wheel back into Kira's hands and pointed to where it should have been. "Your driving is just fine!!" He screamed out almost girly like.

"Are you sure? Cause you could-." Kira begun but was cut off.

"DRIVE!" Shinn commanded.

"Alright." Kira chuckled and placed the steering wheel back on and then flipped the switches back to lock it in place. He drove to the last guard post without any other torment to the passengers.

Once they hit civilian territory, Kira drove the speed limit but still wound around other cars with grace and agility. When they came to a red light Kira looked back to the others, "Where to now?"

Everyone seemed to relax once Kira did the speed limit. They looked over to him with different ideas. Kira laughed as they all said where they wanted to go. "How about lunch first and then to go get something to wear for tonight? After that we can split up and go where ever. Deal?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Where are we going for lunch?" Miriallia looked at the others since they knew this place better than her. "And what do we want?"

"Seafood." Rey wanted sushi.

"Chinese." Athrun added his two cents.

"Hamburgers." Luna licked her lips.

"Salad." Meyrin smiled, hoping to keep fit.

"Sandwiches." Miriallia said.

Kira sighed as he looked back to the road when the light turned green. But he then remembered that one other person didn't say what they wanted. He looked over to Shinn, who was scanning the area around them interested in the view.

"Shinn, you didn't answer. What do you want to eat?" Kira asked curiously.

Shinn didn't even bother to look at him. "Whatever you all want to eat, I don't care."

Kira was then distracted as the com link on the truck began to ring. He pressed a small button on the dashboard and a screen popped up over the stick shift.

"Kira, have you had lunch yet?" Murrue's face appeared on the screen. Everyone's gaze in the vehicle turned to it. Murrue blinked at seeing the other passengers in surprise and turned to someone with her and whispered to them.

"No Captain, we were just deciding where to go to now." Kira didn't take his eyes off the road.

"How about we have lunch together." Murrue moved her com link back to show that the person beside her was Captain Gladys.

"Captain!" The ZAFT soldiers were shocked to see her and saluted her immediately.

"You all are off duty so you don't have to salute me." Talia replied with a smile.

"Where are you at? I'll come pick you up." Kira looked over to the screen.

"Where at the corner of Fifth St. and of Main St." Talia replied.

"We'll be there in a minute." The com link was shut off and Kira did a quick u-turn which was probably illegal but he didn't care. He shifted the gears and sped up heading towards their captains.

* * *

This chapter was enjoyable to write. I think the next one should be where the Haros should come in. I'm not a big fan of Lacus and Cagalli but I might put them in the next chapter. I love Dearka and Yzak so I'll be sure to put them in. I would love to hear some suggestions on where this should go or what I should add into this. So please review even if it is a flame. Personally I love flames unless its like, 'This story sucks because I said so.' That doesn't help me. Flames are meant to help so are reviews. 


	5. Step Five: Magic Trick and Mayhem

I know that Shinn seems very childish but I just wanted to make fun of him a little. Geez, I didn't know he seemed that babyish even though he cried like 3 or 4 times in the show, which surprisingly I have never seen. I feel some what sad now that you all say Shinn is pathetic... T.T Well, I guess that's alright.

Thank you Kaze for the help. Chocatbandit, Totalanimelover, and Sunlite-fangirls-4life I now title you all my stalkers and I dedicate this chapter to you for continueing to review. Thank you. Thank you to all who review.

* * *

Murrue didn't know whether to laugh her ass off or feel sympathy for the poor pathetic looking passengers as Kira pulled up to her and Talia in the 'monster' truck. She noticed Talia covering her mouth as if she was coughing to hide her small smile. 

Shinn was pushing himself as hard as he could into his seat, while Luna had begun to relax at the speed but still had her hands tightly on the side door. Meyrin had passed out, still holding tightly onto Athrun's arm, as Athrun stared straight at the sky. Rey was becoming increasingly agitated and had to bite his bottom lip from saying every colored word he knew and then some. Miriallia had a large smile on as she waved to Murrue and Kira looked a little bored even with his speeding down the busy streets on PLANTs.

Kira parked the truck and jumped down to the hard cement ground after he opened the door. He walked around the truck and towards the two captains. "Alright ladies, where too?" He bowed like a chauffeur with a small smile on his face.

"We where hoping you would have already decided on where to go." Talia bowed slightly to Kira as a polite greeting.

Kira sighed and pointed to the others still in the vehicle with his thumb. "They can't decide."

Athrun had succeeded on waking Meyrin up and get his arm free from her small death-grip. 'Women's hands may be small but geez, they can definitely squeeze you to death.' He mentally noted.

Luna and Miriallia were the first ones to unbuckle their seat belts and sit on the side of the truck to look down at the three sinister grins aimed directly at them and the other occupants of the truck. "Uh-oh…" Luna remarked first and held onto the truck's seat for balance.

Kira and Murrue, with the help of Kira, jumped up onto the metal bars that protected the grill of the truck and began to rock the truck up and down. First it was only slightly but then it was to the point that when the front went down the back went up. It was a good thing they had just got the best custom-made suspension and shocks on the truck not to long ago.

Miriallia and Luna actually enjoyed the motion and began to giggle and sway with it as if they were on a boat or a mechanical bull. Luna had one hand raised in the air and yelled with laughter, her other hand securely on the door's armrest.

Meyrin watched her sister and laughed with her. Unbuckled, she slowly made her way over to the other two girls and laughed with them.

Athrun, being the intelligent one at the moment, unbuckled and jumped 'over board'. He landed swiftly on his feet but when he took a step he stumbled. He steadied himself and joined his captain, who was laughing her head off at the other two officer's antics.  
Rey was on the verge of losing it. Tossing all his marbles and losing every one of them. He wanted to strangle the pilot of the Freedom more now then ever before. He would have to have the 'nice men in white' to get him off of the other, would now be asphyxiated, pilot. He mused that over quickly, mentally telling himself that a padded room and coloring with his feet wouldn't be too bad as a price for killing the Freedom pilot… He too quickly unbuckled himself and jumped 'over board', but not as graceful as Athrun. With a thud, he landed on his ass.

Shinn was literally on a mental breakdown moment. He let out one angst scream, and after unbuckling, lunged over the windshield and straight at Kira. He managed to grab the older man and shake him slightly until Kira pulled up his hand and put it on Shinn's side…

"Ha ha! S-stop it! Ha ha ha! Stop! N-no more! I give!" Shinn howled with laughter. Shinn was balling up on the hood of the truck with Kira tickling him. His finger ran quickly and softly over the younger man's ribs.

"I can't hear you, Mr. Asuka." Kira gibed, a large smirk plastered on his face.

"Oh n-no you d-don't!" Shinn quickly pushed off the hood straight at Kira and ended up on top of the older male on the ground.

Kira had all the air in his lungs pushed out and with a big gasp for air felt fingers on his sides. "Don't you even think about it." He growled softly. He couldn't help a small chuckle leave him as the fingers brushed against his sides. He quickly pushed the other boy over and sat on top of him with his hand firmly pressed against the ground. "Hey Athrun, you want revenge?" He stared down at Shinn, who visible gulped.

"Sure." Athrun said darkly as he sauntered over to where his 'prey' was. He smirked and quickly began to tickle Shinn. The smaller boy, still pinned down, whimpered and laughed as he was 'tortured'.

"3, 2, 1!" Kira quickly jumped off the boy and stepped back a few feet. Athrun ran back over to Talia while Murrue quickly pulled herself the rest of the way onto the hood. Miriallia and Luna scampered into the driver's and shotgun's seat to watch the 'show'. Rey was uncertain about what was going to happen and decided that the hood, with Murrue, was the safest place to be so he too scampered his way up and on it.

Kira bowed slightly and then as he watched Shinn get up onto his feet and brush himself off, he said in a clear and loud voice so the other could hear. "Toro! Toro!" That got Shinn's attention immediately.

"What did you just say?" Shinn visibly twitched as he rolled his sleeves up his arms.

Kira smirked as he provoked the younger male. "Come and get me, Runt!"

Athrun gulped at the sight that was unfolding in front of him and worried for the safety of himself and his captain. "Captain, I do believe we should move to higher ground." He stated calmly as if a flood was coming.

"I do believe you're right, Athrun." She quickly pulled herself up and it to the truck with Athrun behind her.

"Why you dirty bastard!" Shinn lunged at Kira.

Kira quickly dodged and ran around the vehicle. Shinn stood back up and ran after Kira but after running completely around the vehicle, Kira was no where to be seen. Shinn circled the truck one more time and then pulled himself up onto the grid, scanning the inside. But Kira wasn't there either…

Shinn was completely confused now. His eyes were puzzled and his mouth slightly a gaped. He didn't know what to do. 'So the pilot-Kira,' he corrected himself, 'can do magic too?' He stood there not knowing what to do as did the other…. Except of course Murrue and Miriallia…

Andrew and DaCosta happened to be walking down the same busy store-lined sidewalk as the truck was parked on. They walked slowly up to vehicle and instantly knew what was going on. Andrew was first to bark out laughing at the sight. "So he's got you awed, has he boy?"

Shinn looked over to the man not knowing who he is and managed a strangled 'Yes'. He slipped down to the ground and walked to the older man. "So where did he go?"

Andrew smiled at him. "Marco!" He shouted out to the truck.

"Polo!" Shouted an unmistakable voice that was right besides Shinn's head. Shinn let out a gasping yelp and quickly spun around, gripping Kira's shirt collar in his hands and pulling him down to Shinn's eye level.

"Where in the hell where you!?"

Kira smiled and pointed under the truck. "There, but I never knew it was in hell." He faked innocent. His big bright amethyst eyes looked playful and amused.

Shinn didn't know what to say to that. His mouth was open slightly and he had one eyebrow raised. "Well…. But… You see…" He tried to say something, anything at all but his mouth and his brain were just not working together.

Kira gently removed Shinn's hand as the younger male was still stunned that he didn't have one of his usual snide remarks especially against his arch enemy. "Let's go get something to eat." Kira broke the silence. "DaCosta, do you mind driving?" He looked over to Andrew's old comrade.  
"No sir, not at all." He replied. He quickly sauntered over to the driver's seat and Andrew walked over to Murrue and Rey on the hood. He helped them both down and then headed to the front passenger's seat. Luna and Miriallia moved to the middle seats. While Murrue, Talia, and Meyrin took the back seats.

Kira grabbed Shinn from the back of his collar and pulled him around to the bed of the truck. Athrun had already got in the bed and was helping Rey up. Kira jumped into the bed with ease which made the other three look stunned. Kira rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I've worked on this thing a lot so I'm used to the height of it…" He pulled Shinn up behind him. He pulled the truck bed door closed and they all sat down.

"Where too?" DaCosta asked as he backed out of the parking spot.

"We haven't-." Talia was cut off by her phone ringing. She quickly fished it out of her pocket and answered it. After a few minutes, she hung up. "That was Arthur. He said that we have a reservation at this restaurant." She handed a little piece of paper she had in her pocket as well to DaCosta. He nodded and started to drive in the direction of it.

Kira picked up one of the wrenches that was left in the bed and spun it in his fingers gracefully. He could feel the glare he was receiving from the crimson eyed youth sitting across from him and he could imagine what the youth was thinking of doing. He knew it couldn't be a pretty sight by the time the cops got to the murder scene… But he didn't care. He enjoyed pestering the youth. The reactions where mush different from those of Athrun or even 'Duel'.

He could remember the time when Dearka and he had plotted a large scale scheme that involved pregnant women, an anger management class, and a hot tempered blond. Oh yes ladies and gentleman, it was stunning… He could still hear Yzak with his hot pink hair screaming from miles away in his dreams.

He had to plan now that he had the time to think of his next move towards Shinn. What did the boy hate?

* * *

What does Kira have in mind? Not even I know. Keep reading and reviewing! 


	6. Step Six: Robots Can Be Jealous Too

I feel so sad. This one was hard to do and it came out so short... But very funny. This one includes the 'Skittles' and 'Birdie, the world's smartest robotic bird' even though he is probably the ONLY robotic bird.

Disclamier: Because I do not want to live in a cardboard box... Wait... Has anyone ever been sued on this thing? I don't think so. So wtf is the point of this?

* * *

Mr. Pink buzzed with life. Its communication link had been silent for too long it decided. He rolled across the small bedroom where Lacus had left him alone and in the dark. His sensors turned on the night vision and proceeded to the door. He knew the unlock code since the day they had come aboard the Archangel. He also knew the Captain's… 

He jumped up and one by one the five digit code was entered. With a hiss the door opened to an empty hallway. He had seen the other Haros earlier today before he was left by Lacus before she went off to a meeting with the ZAFT council. So he knew he had to contact and find the others, but first he needed a computer source to activate the wide spread communication link. He decided to roll down the right hallway, curious to find the hangar.

-

Birdie had been watching the amusing activities of the passengers in the truck since they left military boundaries and had yet to be spotted. He was currently sitting, or more like hiding underneath the truck's spare tire that was attached to a secret compartment under the truck.

Birdie had hidden in the first place because of the horde of rainbow colored mass destructive toys from hell, also known as Athrun's messy room aboard the Minerva. He knew that the balls would follow him and 'torture' him with their 'fun and games'. _'What a load of shit that was'_, Birdie thought. He knew that they just wanted to bash him around like their personal soccer ball. He remembered the days afterward the last time they got a hold of him. It felt as if he had a huge hangover and was having a female 'time of the month' to bitch non-stop. He wished he could peck Athrun Zala to death for putting a 'sensory and humanization' chip into him when he was constructed. Damn him!

So the robotic bird decided to jump a ride with his master and his new hit that he was currently scheming to destroy, with a bunch of other people that would be brought down as well with the blue haired wanna-be God. He must congratulate Athrun for creating something as smart as himself (Birdie). He knew that he was smarter than the Haros. He knew he was smarter than most things. He knew that he was most likely smarter than Athrun himself, but he didn't care. He was hell bent on world domination. To bad he couldn't speak a word of human…

-

Haro had wandered across the entire ship and had yet to come across ANY of his kind let alone the bird of his desired entertainment. He knew that they had to be somewhere. So he decided to start checking all storage/closet areas, including those of the hangar. He suddenly stopped when he thought of the large hangar and the cargo box that the mechanics where staring at and nodding among themselves as they watched the cloud of Haros carefully. He quickly rolled to the hangar and scared the living daylights out of anyone that he came across on his way.

-

Birdie was getting extremely bored. _'Stupid humanization chip,'_ he mentally chirped. He was feeling bitchy that his master was playing with something or someone else. He felt jealous! And professional PhD graduates thought robots and artificial intelligences couldn't feel. Psh. The stupid fools. Yes, he was jealous of a certain red eyed human. If Birdie could sneer at the pathetic comment, he would have. _'So Athrun's smart enough to give me emotions and feelings like a human but he's not smart enough to give me facial features! He couldn't even make me speak in human…'_ the little robot mentally bashed his creator.

Birdie suddenly got an evil plan formulated in its tiny robotic super genius mind… He flew out of his hiding place and gently landing on Kira's shoulder looking like the innocent robotic toy he always did. He lovingly nuzzled Kira's cheek and watched the red eyed male from his perch. _'Welcome to my playground, noob.'_

-

Mr. Pink was right. All the others were stuck in a very large, very thick metal container. He knew that the mechanics must have had a hand in this because of the neatly and professionally done seal lent job on the top of the container. 'Well, here goes nothing.'

"Alright, alright!" Mr. Pink yelled to the others in the box. There chatter immediately stopped. "Everyone, everyone! On the count of three, three, ram the side of the container, container!" He got a barrage of 'Okays!' and 'Yes!' and even a random 'No more locked doors!' (Inside joke…) from the other side.

"One!" He shouted out.

"Two!" They replied.

"Three!" He shouted again.

"Rah!!!" They yelled as they rammed the side of the container, which weakened and spewed the rainbow onto the newly cleaned, waxed floor. "Hooray!" They all screamed in unison. Suddenly as the containers side fell to the floor, it hit a red laser that no one saw. An alarm went off in the entire ship, "Haros have escaped! Haros have escaped!" It rang.

The same little roughed up orange Haro (Hint hint!) that had earlier screamed out the random 'No more locked doors!' now yelled out, "Damn it, amigos, we need to scatter before de policia come and send us back to de frontera!" (Sorry, another inside joke!) The rainbow quickly scattered throughout the ship and even a handful followed Mr. Pink and the orange Haro to the Minerva.

-

Birdie was surprised that he would be jealous of some organic mattered human. He was never jealous at some random person before, but something about the red eyed male made his metal feathers ruffle. He was pissed, even though he didn't know why. '_I thought females were the only ones who get bitchy. It makes me wonder why robots don't have genders… That could mean-.'_

He couldn't finish his mental thought due to Athrun reaching over and gently picking him up. "Wow, Birdie's in really good condition. I would have thought her-."

"Wait Birdies a girl?" Miriallia spoke up from the back seat.

A loud robotic bird screech filled the air…

* * *

OMG! So Birdie is a she and is jealous that Shinn has Kira's undivided attention! Wow my plot keeps twisting... I need more suggetions. I am also planning on making another story too. 


	7. Step Seven: Of Drunkards and Rumors

I read this one threw and just about died laughing. If there is a REAL HIP out there, I do not own it. I thank Narukasaky for part of the following plot idea. So now Bob the original plot bunny has a drunkard cousin that has yet to be named. Narukasaky, I'll let you name it. Bloody hell, someone get Totalanimelover someone who can do CPR immediately. Breath. I don't want to get sued for a death... Not yet anyway... Thank you everyone who reviewed. I just might turn you into random Captains and Commanders when the ball finall arrives. So watch out for a post on that. Otherwise, enjoy.

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The House of International Pabulum, or also known as HIP... Everyone in the truck stared. Everyone stared at the large yellow sign that had the lights off in some of the letters to where it said The Huse of nterntiona Pablm. In addition, the letter 'P' was flashing. The gloomy looking white brick building was not only somewhat ugly but also very small and its black roof looked like it could fall in at any moment. The building, mostly blocked by large willow trees, from the presence of the four-lane road behind them. The concrete under the truck was cracked and old with weeds and grass growing in between them. All the windows had the blinds closed and they flickered from candle light. 

Kira and Miriallia looked at it and both busted out laughing. They had seen many poor conditioned places, but this was just ridiculous. Apparently, PLANTs was not all sunshine and puffy clouds with a birds singing in the air. Well technically, they did not have a real 'sun' or 'puffy clouds', they were just images to make it seem more Earth like. Moreover, neither Kira nor Miriallia had seen a bird since they arrived with the exception of Birdie who was now being rest with a very long needed rest after the little incident a while ago happened. Thank God for the off button otherwise, our dear friend Athrun would be dead.

Everyone except for Murrue looked at the two strangely. They all wondered how two people could find something this pathetically depressing utterly humorous. Murrue's lips even turned upright and a grin lay on her face. She needed a picture of this place to staple to the bulletin board in the coffee lounge aboard the Archangel.

Kira calmed down after awhile, holding his sides tightly from the pain due to lack of air. Miriallia calmed down just a few moments later with her hair slightly more roughed up than before. They took in gasps of air and continued to look at the, well calling it a building is offensive to other buildings around the universe, shabby bistro.

"What the hell is so funny?" Shinn bellowed mostly at Kira but gave Miriallia a quick side-glance.

"Oh, we're sorry it's just that we haven't seen a place this badly kept since the last war." Kira apologized remorsefully.

"Even while I was a photographer I hadn't seen something like this that was still, well, habitable." Miriallia smiled.

"I can't blame you there." Talia spoke softly and slowly. A quick moving blur caught her coordinator reflexes that moved from one of the two large willow trees to the immobile truck. Her lips quickly smiled a large grin at the panicked young man now clinging to the side of the truck for dear life.

"What in the world were they thinking when they got our reservations at this horrid place!" His British accent (I absolutely love his British accent. Then again, I love all British accents. Rawr!) almost making some of the syllables sound like high-pitched girls squeals. "The Chairman's secretary must be getting revenge on him by sending us here."

Kira sighed in desperation, "I say we hit up a grill and bar."

"Partially smashed before going to a formal ball?" Miriallia smirked at Kira.

"Of course," He smiled brightly, "Its how every great party is started."

"There's one off 5th Avenue." Arthur quickly affirmed.

"Very good then. Jump aboard and we'll be on our way." DaCosta nodded to Arthur, who clumsily climbed into the bed of the truck. They drove off to the restaurant quickly and filed out of the vehicle.

They were seated at a large round booth in the not very crowded place. ZAFT sat on one side of the two semi-circular booths to form the round booth and the Archangel on the other side. The waiter promptly took their orders and brought them their drinks with straws.

Kira was becoming bored and with Birdie in his pocket shut off for a few more hours, he had nothing to entertain him. The older populace of the table were in discussions of past things they have done or things that they want to do. The girls were in a discussion of what they wanted to wear to the ball or what type of man they like. Rey had pulled a book out of his pocket and Athrun was constantly being inquired about things from the two young ZAFT female pilots. Kira's lips quickly turned into a smirk that was not seen by any of the other people at the table.

Everyone else was busy except for himself… and Shinn…

The red eyed youth just happened to be sitting in front of him and they both were located at the end of the table. He pulled off the paper from the straw and began to fold it into a triangular form. He knew red irises were following every movement of his hands. Once he was done creating his little paper masterpiece, also known as a paper football, flicked it over to Shinn, careful enough that no one at the table saw.

Shinn's reflexes immediately caught it in his right hand and hid it under the table. He carefully inspected the little piece of paper folded in his hand. All the folds were neat and there was not a flaw in sight. He looked up across the table to see a smirking Kira, his thumb tips pressed together and his index fingers pointed towards the ceiling where sitting on the edge of the table.

Shinn couldn't help but smile as his eye light up in excitement. He placed the small paper football in front of him and positioned his fingers coiled behind it. He flicked it back over to Kira, sending it right between Kira's index fingers and onto his lap. 'Two points,' Shinn mouthed.

Kira smiled and was about to flick the paper football back over to Shinn when the waiter came back over with their food. Kira, surprised, quickly shoved the football into his mouth to hide it from view.

The waiter was passing out the food when Murrue looked over to Kira who looked stiff and edgy. "What's wrong, Kira?"

Stunned, Kira accidentally swallowed the football. He coughed slightly while Shinn burst out into laughter. Kira breathlessly cursed at Shinn under his heavy intake of air. The rest of the table just looked between the two suspiciously.

(About 20 minutes later)

Everyone had finished their food and had gotten slightly tipsy, but was still aware of everything around them. Luckily, DaCosta decided to play 'big brother' and didn't drink so he was nominated designated driver of the day. Cheers!

They sat around the table laughing and giggling at the stupid things fellow crew man have done on their ships while during or after the first war. So after stating that, Murrue just HAD to bring up the time when Kira, Mwu, Kuzzey, Sai, and Tolle had hacked into the women's bathroom to find Miriallia and Flay showering. Miriallia and Kira immediately blushed.

"I had nothing to do with it and neither did Mwu." Kira quickly objected.

"Is that so? Ensign Koening said you were the brains of the operation." Murrue had a sly smile on her face.

Kira looked shocked. "Why that no good rotten little pervert." He seethed out. "That's it! Miriallia, where getting a red outfit of some sort and we're going to dance on his grave!" Kira said vindictively with a finger pointing to the ceiling.

Miriallia laughed. "Sure thing, Kira, and while we're at it should we buy you a pink tutu as well?" She laughed harder.

Kira blushed brighter. "Should we get you another one of those pink poka-doted strapless bras?" He smiled with revenge and sugary sweetness laced with each word.

It was Miriallia's turn to blush crimson. "Should we get you and Athrun a room for two?!" She sniped back.

Athrun blushed. "How about we get you and Dearka a medical bed on the Archangel together?!"

Murrue decided to stop the fuss. "That's enough from you three."

Miriallia, evidently was a little more than tipsy, challenged the Captain. "Should we play the tape of you and Mwu getting it on, on the bridge?"

Murrue got red in the face from embarrassment. "There's a tape?!"

Andrew coughed and excused himself to the men's bathroom.

Miriallia nodded and Kira laughed. "Yes. Neumann had a video recorder on in the bridge to make sure no one tampered with anything. Andy has it now for, what he said, 'safe keeping'." She started to laugh.

While all this was happening Luna was taking notes under the table of everything said so she could gossip it back to the others on the Minerva. DaCosta did his best to stay invisible. Shinn and Rey were watching with amusement. Arthur was slightly dazed staring at Murrue's chest. And Captain Talia had to hold in laughs. Meyrin couldn't help but start laughing.

Murrue, still in a slightly drunken rage, barked at Meyrin, "We know what you were doing too on the Minerva. You had left a comm. link on with the Archangel. Gossiping like that with your sister about fellow soldiers is in no way respecting."

Meyrin and Luna flushed pink. Captain Talia looked between the two. "You two did what?"

Miriallia piped up, "They thought Rey looks like a girl and Shinn carries a pink phone around, so they believed that the two were gay."

"You thought what!" Shinn's cheeks and nose went a bright shade of red. Rey looked shocked.

"Well I know that you two have a 'hot' rating list of the entire ship!" Shocking everyone, Rey spoke up.

Talia gently nudged Rey in the side and whispered, "What number am I?"

He whispered back, "Don't worry. You're number 7 on the women's list."

"Yes! I'm in the top ten!" She whispered under her breath.

"And you've been plotting to make Vino wear a dress!" Shinn spouted off.

"Well we know that you wear a woman's size uniform, Shinn!" Luna barked at him first. "And that you have a pink hair brush from Chairman Dullindal, Rey!"

Kira finally broke down with laughter, "You where a female sized uniform?"

"You're one to laugh, Kira, because you do too." Athrun spoke up.

"And how do you know that, Athrun?" Shinn questioned.

"Err…" He paused. "You see…"

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Oh a cliffy! Whoo hoo! 

So how does Athrun know? wink wink And who's number one on the women's list? When did Rey get a hairbrush from the Chairman? Where's the tape of Mwu and Murrue? Who knows. Maybe Bob's drunkard of a cousin.

Review if you love me! Big smooches, dearies, if you do!


	8. Step Eight: Of Gays and Lies

OMG I updated, no way... Yeah I know, forever and a day, please lay off me. :D Implied humorous gayness makes the world seem interesting. Written after a weird conversation with Kaze when she drank too many Monsters and went on an 'Athrun, Kira, and Shinn are so gay' rant. And a 'Look at Athrun and Kira in -hiccup- the first war. There was so much -what's that three letter word-thingy again that you use?- UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension) between those two. -hiccup-' discussions.

During these rants of hers, I sit and take notes for stories... :D

Disclaimer: Since I don't give a crap nor remember if I did one of these, I don't own anything. I don't even own the truck. But I DO OWN the idea in which this fanfic was created on. I just twisted the poor dysfunctional characters to my liking. So there:P

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Athrun fumbled for words as Shinn and Luna became even more interested at what they might find blackmail information about their superior officer. 

Murrue was getting impatient and stomped her foot under the table, just barely missing DaCosta's foot who yelped in surprise and quickly withdrew all parts of his body away from her. "Oh spit it out, boy."

Miriallia had a few more shots of some strong Tequila and blurted out, "Athrun caught Kira in the shower back in ORB and Kira threw his clothes at Athrun as a way to escape him back into the shower stall." She hiccupped and laughed.

Kira and Athrun both blushed and looked at the floor while the rest of the table's occupants busted out laughing, except for Luna who was still taking notes for her gossip blog online which almost every ZAFT soldier under 30 uses. She had a special site for people 31 and above.

"I say we go get our clothes now." Athrun desperately wanted to change the previous subject. "We only have an hour left."

Kira quickly agreed with a nod of his head. Shinn was turning bright red from lack of oxygen due to his laughter. He held his sides as his shoulders slowly shook from quieter laughing and he quickly regained his breath. Luna was having a field day with the new data and settled upon a new blog site she would create specially revolved around everything she picked up today. She could picture the title now, 'Unheimliche Liebehasslagen', which translates to 'Weird Love-Hate Relationships.'

'Ahh,' breaths in deeply, 'Can't you just smell the blackmail circulation among ZAFT soldiers? I wonder if the EA or ORB has gotten onto that site yet.'

"Fine, fine, fine. Let's get going. I want to get to the free alco- I mean cute men as soon as I can." Murrue mumbled over some of her words quickly. Everyone started pulling out their wallets and looking for cash. "How much is the bill?"

DaCosta flipped it over and almost had a heart attack. "Two hundred, eighty five dollars, and sixty two cents, ma'am."

"Good God, I don't get that much money even on my life insurance in a month!" Talia held a hand over her chest.

Kira coughed and mumbled to Miriallia something under his breath and looked up to the others. "I'm going to go start the vehicle up." Before anyone could say anything he was up and strutting to the door quickly.

Athrun rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I'm going to go check on Andrew. He's been in the restroom for awhile now." Athrun quickly darted off to the restroom.

Miriallia grabbed Meyrin's and Luna's shoulder when she got up. "We're going to go powder our noses." She smiled and dragged the two girls to the restroom.

Rey, quickly catching on to the other's scheming, nudged Shinn's shoulder to get him to slide out of the booth. "Uh, the two of us are going to go have a smoke…" He slightly drawled on the last part of the sentence.

Talia quirked an eyebrow, "Since when did you two smoke?"

Shinn quickly spoke up to add to the lie, "Since, umm, now." The two males took off like rockets to the front entrance.

Talia looked to the last three people sitting at the table. DaCosta was obviously trying to come up with some lie to get out of the situation. Murrue was finishing her last drink and talking to herself listing out the already used and not-used excuses. Arthur was still watching Murrue's chest and looking pretty well stoned.

Talia caught Murrue's and DaCosta's attention and then motioned to Arthur who was completely unaware of the world around him. They nodded and Talia with DaCosta quickly on her heels left silently.

Murrue leaned forward, "Hey Arthur, can you wait her a second." She slightly unbuttoned her shirt and tugged it further down her shoulders. "It's kind of getting hot in here. I think I'll go out for some air."

He nodded dumbly and she too took off for the doors. A young waitress came back to the table waiting for the bill to be paid. That's when it hit Arthur in the head very, _very_, hard. He was to foot the bill. "Damn it."

When Shinn and Rey made in outside they saw Andrew sitting in the already started vehicle with Luna and Miriallia standing beside it watching as Athrun was inside the woman's restroom trying to push Meyrin out the small window while Kira pulled her.

"Have you tried laying off the chocolate once in a while, Meyrin?" Athrun spoke up loudly to be heard in the restroom. Meyrin grunted and then a muffled 'Holy shit! That was the family jewels!' and a loud thud could be heard.

"Oops," Meyrin pretended to be innocent, "Sorry Athrun."

With one more solo tug from Kira, Meyrin was pulled completely from the window. Kira brushed his hands off of invisible dust and turned to the others. "So what did you two use?" He looked to Rey and Shinn.

"We smoke now." Rey shrugged his shoulders.

"Smart move. I used alcohol as an excuse once, so now I have AA meetings every first Monday of the month. Here." Kira tossed them a spare lighter. "Keep it; it will get you out of some tight spots."

Athrun groaned as he sat up, still protecting his precious jewels, "Kira, a little help here."

Kira sighed, slipped into the tight window space with ease and landing gracefully into the ladies restroom. "Come on, Athrun."

Athrun pressed against Kira for support by pressing his palms against Kira's chest and leaning against the wall with his back, while the room continued to spin. "She kicks hard for a girl." He breathed out. Kira chuckled but then went quiet as he heard the door handle turn to open. "Shit." Athrun muttered.

They both turned their heads as two teenaged emo ladies walked in with their randomly rainbow-ed hair and many assorted piercings. The two women suddenly froze where they stood, startling both Kira and Athrun.

"Umm, hello there…" Athrun started nervously as he gave a flimsy wave over Kira's arm, Kira's firm hands gently keeping him steady, rested tightly on his shoulders.

The lady that appeared to be younger of the two with the flaming red hair suddenly cooed at the two to her friend. "Aren't those two a lovely couple?"

Her friend brushed some purple bangs out of her eyes, squealed at the sight. "Pictures!" The two women quickly took snapshots of the two men with their phones and ran out of the restroom to leave the 'lovely gay men' some '_privacy_', after commenting on how hot they were.

Kira stood in his spot looking positively dumbfounded at the recent events. "Well that was very…" His mouth opened and closed a few times trying to finish his sentence.

"Entertaining.", said a new voice. Kira's and Athrun's heads quickly looked up to the small window to see Luna standing on her tiptoes and a phone in her hand, also taking pictures.

Athrun looked down at their position and swiftly blushed a bright red. "Well that explains the whole gay guy statement." He coughed slightly in embarrassment, his previous pain now vanished from thought.

Kira had a sudden idea and smirked at both Luna and Athrun. "Oh really." He pressed up against Athrun fully and his smirk widen. He laid his head on top of Athrun's and looked up at Luna who didn't know weather to laugh outrageously or blush brilliantly and disappear. Until she saw Kira mouth the words, 'This is going to be hilarious.' did she think they, more along the lines of Kira, were teasing. She covered her mouth to muffle her giggles.

"Oh Athy-kun!"

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Yes I know, I'm late. Speaking of 'I'm late.' I was wondering if I should start on a Gundam Seed/Destiny version of 'Alice in Wonderland' using our favorite male pilots to make 'Rey in Wonderland' since he has such long pretty blonde hair. XFD 

Oh and school starts August 27 so expect longer delays than just writers block.


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